I Love Flying On Private Jets

hartwig • August 1, 2023

A Missive For Travelers and Why The TSA Is Utter Bullshit


 I love flying on private jets, or I would if I could afford to. I have had the opportunity to do so on a couple occasions, and the experience generally went like this:

   I arrive at the private terminal expecting to pass through a TSA check point and can't find it. I push open the double glass doors and find myself in a well appointed lobby, with sheer glass on the runway side of things. The vista greeting me is one of all manner of jets, from small Lears to to those as large as passenger planes. Off in the distance, I can see the public, commercial airline terminal, which shares the same runway and can imagine, based on experience, the turmoil within its halls and waiting lounges. Here, the atmosphere is serene.

   A uniformed attendant comes up to me and asks whether she can help me. I explain my being there and who I am waiting for and she nods, politely, and tells me someone will come to get me when my ride is ready. Hesitantly, I ask about security. She smiles and gently informs me, immediately understanding that I'm a neophyte to this world, that there is no security, no TSA, no private agency, that will impede my journey from the lobby to the tarmac and onto my plane. I help myself to a danish and a glass of wine, I know, a strange combination, and its only 10 in the morning, but hell, why not. I'm living large. 

   Before long, a guy with a hat, clearly a pilot, approaches to let me know my flight is ready and grabs my bag. We leave the building, cross the tarmac and board the plane, one of the little jets, and off we go. Faster than a speeding bullet, or almost as fast as a speeding bullet, we dash across the skies, awash in wine, whiskey and ample nourishment, until we begin our descent to our destination, land and taxi up to the private terminal, an almost cloned version of the one I had taken off from. We disembark, the pilot hands me my bag, thanks me and out of the terminal I go. There is no security checkpoint to pass through on arrival. I learned later that the only private facilities requiring security for private jet passengers are those located in the DC area. 

   I briefly contemplated bringing a bazooka and maybe a couple pounds of pot on my next sojourn in the world of private aviation, not for any other reason than that I could.

   My next flying experience was, of course, commercial. The experience was somewhat different:

   I arrived at the terminal at the suggested time, ninety minutes before my flight was due to depart, and proceeded to the TSA checkpoint. TSA was the airport security agency formed by Little George Bush in the wake of 9/11, ostensibly to ensure that air travel was guaranteed to be safe. Some sixty minutes later, I arrived at the TSA podium and conversed with the security agent there. Our chat went like this:

TSA:   Ticket and Identification.
Me:   Here.
Me:   I have a question.
TSA:   What. 
Me:   Why don't you guys have checkpoints at private aviation facilities that use public runways.
TSA:   Because rich people don't blow shit up.
Me:   What about Bin Laden, he was pretty rich, wasn't he?
TSA:   Hey, asshole, you want to make your flight or do you want to spend the next two days sitting in a room here at the airport.
Me:   Where do I go from here?
TSA:   Through the scanner. Take of your shoes and belt and empty your pockets.

Most people will know the rest. The good news is that I made it to my boarding gate with five minutes to spare with nary a thought of bringing contraband on my next flight. And, I got a free bottle of water.

   The lesson learned is that if you want to cause havoc with a plane, even a jumbo jet, fly private. 

True story.


By hartwig • February 23, 2025
Censorship in the tech industry, particularly social media, has become a glaring problem in this country. Unfortunately, or fortunately, as many believe, social media platforms have become an integral part of not only expressing ideas, but for the purposes of marketing goods and services. In fact, it would be safe to hazard that absent the use of social media, it has become almost impossible to conduct commerce in the US and elsewhere. Thus, for all intents and purposes, social media have become quasi-public utilities. In practice, these platforms have employed algorithms to manage the exposure people get on these platforms; some are given wide coverage, while others are throttled, all for a variety of reasons. These include, though are not necessarily confined to, whether users are paying for subscriptions, whether they are "celebrities," or endorsed by these; and, as has been most egregious, for expressing their political and social views and/or levying criticisms at the platforms and/or their owners. Hence, an expression of opinion, if contrary to the chosen narrative of the platform, leads not only to censorship of the author on that basis, but also results in direct curtailment of the author's commercial purposes. Every one of the social media platforms are guilty of these practices. And, while the Zuckerberg outlets have deservedly gained notoriety for therefore, the propensity of Mr. Musk, vis a vis, X, is no less inclined to these. While Musk and Zuckerberg and the rest will tend to allow some dissent from those with millions of followers, for the lesser popular users, any variance from the dominant narrative or criticism of the platform or its owners invariably leads to isolation. I have experienced this on both Instagram and X, to my economic detriment. The difference between Musk and Zuckerberg et al, is merely a matter of Musk's propensity for superior public relations and spin. The net effect of their respective algorithmic censorship is exactly the same. Dissent is squelched. Censorship has always been a bad idea. The expression and/or exchange of ideas are vital to the notion of democracy. That said, there are certainly bad ideas expressed in the public forums represented by social media; however, the suppression of these, rather than allowing them to be openly challenged, will lead to an underground network of the disenfranchised who, absent a forum for self-expression, will, once down the rabbit holes of their beliefs, only emerge, often violently, when their beliefs have festered and demand expression at any cost and in any form. Of course, the issue of suppressing "bad" ideas also begs the question: who is the arbiter of what constitutes a "bad" idea verses one that is "good." An example of this is found on the left of center social, televised and print media, both here and abroad, which, over the course of the last decade, have managed to brand as "far right" those ideas that were deemed to be moderate twenty years ago. Should truly far right media gain dominance, the same risk will appear - that political moderates will be demonized as "far left." In addition, as is certainly the case in Europe, but is also gaining popularity among our political and media elites, is the notion that criticism and dissent should be branded as "hate" speech and criminalized. Again, the question abounds as to who gets to determine what speech is allowable. Obviously this will depend on the dominant groups and their respective, preferred narratives. All of the foregoing requires reactive and proactive redress. First and foremost, transparency in the algorithms utilized by social media platforms ought to be public. These should be re-written, or the governing AI's programmed, to allow only organic growth on social media. Users, who find offense in certain rhetoric or interaction, need merely be given the option to opt out of further contact with the authors thereof, though civil debate ought to be encouraged. As for criticism of political leaders, tech tycoons and the like, if this must be suppressed, then perhaps there is truth in the criticism that bears investigation. It seems logical, given the importance of social media and tech, in our society, and our dependence thereon, that the "big stick" the government carries, as it tries to invoke change, is that it could readily legislate that these platforms are not merely de facto public utilities, but that they are such as a matter of law and as essential essential public utilities, they may be governed accordingly.
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